The whole genome project attempts to keep our readership up to date with the latest in reproductive science. In particular how science impacts social trends.

This quarter we look into in vitro fertilization.

The latest technology to make its impact felt on our lives is in vitro fertilization. This allows fertilization to occur in a lab with pre-selected genetic material. 20,000 babies born worldwide are conceived in-vitro. While currently the technology has been used for couples with fertility problems the real benefit of in vitro fertilization is being ignored.

A four alphabet code, long enough to reach to the moon and back determines whether you will read the classics, or the NASCAR Weekly.

A Simple Question

Think about the people you know or work around. How many of them do you think have the kind of genetics you want to see propagated in the next generation?

Current Situation

Worldwide only half the population can name four countries that have nuclear weapons. Only 13% of Americans can locate Iraq on a map. Thirty five percent believe in Bigfoot.

Dan Quayle has replicated his genetics by having children. Is this good?

Bigfoot Does Not Exist. Isn’t it time we had the kind of person who can appreciate this?

The Research

Research by Master’s and Johnson indicates that only 8.5% of conversations between people in the Boston area were actually interesting. South Carolina is now down to 2%.They are now projecting a 87% shortage of interesting people to talk to by the year 2008!

The Future

In vitro fertilization can put a stop to all of this. The sperm of Einstein and Richard Feyman are kept at Cal Tech. The genetic material of our best and brightest is available for pennies.

The Beckman Institute at Cal Tech

Given another chance, more Einsteins may finally solve the Grand Unifying Theory..

…so that we may finally know the “Mind of God”

Or we can have more Chuck Norrises…

Which would you prefer?

Some people ask us if In-Vitro ever has any downsides. Sure…..but we say you have to take the good with the bad. We think is was Shakespeare who once said “there is much slip between cup and lip”

We will be honest, mistakes do happen

In the event of a mix up, your loved one will be well cared for, and you won’t be billed for mistakes.

Our Facilities

The World Renown In Vitro Clinic

We are all geared up, but not enough people know about the new services.

Our Marketing Campaign

This is the motivation for new advertising program we are co-sponsoring with the In Vitro Clinic. You may see the following billboard on your daily commute

Our New Ad

Let’s Face Facts….You Are Mediocre.

Your significant other is probably mediocre too.

Apples don’t fall to far from the tree. Don’t make her mediocre too.

Get the best genetics for your baby

The In Vitro Clinic 1-800-INVITRO

It truly is a brave new world in genetics. We now hold the power to ensure that each person is a real contributor to society, rather than another Billy Carter. Won’t you help spread the word?